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Funny Inspiring Quotes

We hope you find both inspiration and humor in these Funny Inspiring Quotes from our large collection of inspiring quotes.

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Related topics: Inspirational Life Human-Nature Psychology Live-By Cute Whimsey Wisdom Humor

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

 

A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

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My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

At the beginning, we are in relationship
because we are attracted to the other person -
we think they are sexy, smart, funny,
whatever it is that we find appealing.
But very quickly, the focus of the relationship
turns to whether we feel appreciated.
If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

There is hope for the future because God has a sense
of humor and we are funny to God.
- Bill Cosby


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